By : Terry Sheridan
Difficult bosses, senior managers or executives in an organisation can make life very hard. The results of this is that you will end up highly stressed and in the long term this will affect your health and is one of the major causes of depression. Here are proven ways of keeping your malevolent boss or executive at bay. This is not one of those quick marketing articles that profess to give you best advice, my tips are from academic research and counselling hundreds of people who have had to stay in their jobs regardless of the stress for countless reasons. My motivation is to get this information out to the greatest number of people, to ease the pain that these negative people cause.
Tip 1. Leave the company
This is not the advice that you are wanting to hear, but believe me, after working with a highly malevolent manipulative boss I ended up with an acute respiratory crisis which almost cost me my life, so you should know what dangerous risks you are taking here. Please consider a lateral move within your company, or start a serious job hunt (outside of work hours). However, do NOT take a job less than your level of competence, or less pay, as this action, in my research with unemployed women managers has shown that it leads to serious distress and trauma to your self-esteem.
But hundreds of thousands of people cannot move away from their senior manager who is creating enormous stress for them. The negative activities include: over-loading of work, taking credit for your efforts, having favourites that he or she delights in showing you, trying to include you in nefarious borderline illegal activities and saying to you at the same time, "If you say anything to anyone else I will totally deny it." These are only a few of the activities that they do, and I am sure that you could list your own too.
The reason why this executive can get away with these negative actions and threats is that he or she holds power over you, and that power rests on you being fired. This is the ultimate sanction that can lead you and your family into poverty even with welfare support schemes that exist in different countries. Avoid being unemployed at all costs. The longer you are unemployed the more unemployable you become.
Your only option left to you then is to take the power away from the executive, and here is how to do it.
Tip 2. Build a social network that is more powerful than the executive.
To an introvert hearing this, you will cringe, as going out to meet people is against your personality type. I understand this, but if you have to stay in this situation you must build up a powerful network base. Think about it, as it makes sense. No person is indispensable; this even applies to your boss who is making your life a misery. Consider management buy-outs for instance. Deliberately networking with colleagues may give you an understanding that they too are not happy with the situation either, and inevitably, I can promise you, a malevolent boss is not making the maximum profit of the enterprise. The reason why is that these business owners have built up the organisation to meet their own needs, and therefore do not focus on the strategic possibilities that an enterprise can seize. If you have suppliers or even customers that support you, then a management buy-out is feasible with competent colleagues. You have to assess which of your colleagues are competent though, and not toadies of the boss. Do not organise a revolution with people who you cannot trust, otherwise you will end up fired.
Social networking can get you into trade bodies, or professional organisations who meet regularly and you can make an area of expertise your own. This offsets back-stabbing and the attack on your reputation that your malevolent executive is doing out there (because they want to feel superior to you). Start your own blog about your expertise; get known to the world about what you can do and how you do it. Eventually, this strategy will work as you will likely be head-hunted for another (hopefully better) company. Look at the LinkedIn site for others in your industry and you will witness the turnover and head poaching that goes on. Network your way out of this terrible situation at work.
Tip 3. Manage your stress.
There is an amazing amount of information that is available to you via the media and the internet. I researched medical journals for my best de-stressing techniques and am happy to pass them on to you. The two most efficient, effective ways of getting rid of immediate stress is through physical exercise (try walking in a park at lunchtime) and meditation. The latter means zoning out and can be done anywhere. Sit in your car, or park bench, or in any quiet place, even with 'white noise' or traffic, and just sit and stare and let your mind go blank. You can wear sunglasses if you are in a public place, and shut your eyes and just let any thought that comes into your mind go away until you have finished - as you will remember later what those thoughts are. Do this for 20 minutes then eat your sandwiches. This process is proven to immediately assist in decreasing the stress hormones racing around the human body.
Tip 4. Take charge of your brain.
You have no need to ruminate over the latest injustices. They have been done. They are now in the past. Repeating the episode to others re-enacts the cognitive process in your brain, and you are receiving the same stress signals as if you were in the real life situation. Tell important people in your life that you have suffered yet another form of abuse from your executive or boss, but do not go into the details. It will hurt you. Tell the 'hamster on the treadmill' (as I call it) in your brain, to slow down, there is no need to be on high alert anymore. You are in charge.
Tip 5. Be with positive people.
Another way of taking charge is to hang around positive people and learn from them. This may be over the internet, or just a phone conversation, but fill your life with positive thoughts. Enjoy funny movies, make yourself laugh and enjoy life once again. When your boss has executed his or her nefarious deed on you, think of a funny side to this. Re-invent yourself as a person who likes to share a good time with others.
Tip 6. Remember that you are a worthy person.
This offsets the thrust of most actions that malevolent people take. Most of them want you to feel inferior to them. Let them feel that way. It is never good for either party to end up in power struggles over who is better, more experienced etc. Let him or her think that they are top dog. Ignore their power games. They want to win the war, let them do it. Remember that you are a person of worth, that you have a certain set of skills and abilities and personality characteristics, and no one can take them away from you. You are indeed a person of value. Do not let anyone come into your life and truly devalue you. Some individuals allow others to take away their value. Do not be one of those. If you disbelieve me, I could spend half and hour with you and I know that I can go through your skills and experience and find a person of tremendous worth. You are unique, AND you are never lower than anyone else on this planet, no matter who you are.
Tip 7. This is only temporary.
Your boss, or senior manager will not live forever, and if you humbly do your best, you can stay under the radar for a while. Concentrate on doing a good job, no matter how much they interfere. Be honest with your boss or managers and tell them you can only do so much in so much time. They may sneer at you, but it is ok, you are actually establishing a boundary on your workload and that is what they are angry about. Reviling you is the only way that they know to get you to do more work. Set the boundaries. If you are working more than 60 hours a week you are well on the way to a heart attack. Do not let your executive kill you.
Tip 8. Start a hobby.
Do not use your workplace to do your hobby - as you are a very conscientious person remember? But this is the time to develop an outside interest. I see many individuals who have been burnt out and have nothing left in their lives. No work, no family and friends. So Tip number 7 makes sense. Start going with your children to their outside activities, sports, arts etc.. Take an interest in what they do, join in and develop with them. I remember taking up swing dancing when my daughter was 25, I tagged along and found it great fun, even if I was not that good! If you don't have children, then life is easier to take control of when at home, and you can start your hobby by joining a local association or group of enthusiasts. Don't be deterred, they love to meet beginners. And of course the area that is a really good hobby for people suffering from potential burn out is further education. Your boss is more likely to observe (even respect) the fact that you are doing a certificate, diploma or degree part-time. Choose a subject that you really like to find out more about rather than do the required MBA, and get stuck in. Anthropology is far less threatening to a malevolent executive than a management course. Don't fall into the hands of the 'diploma mill' institutions, concentrate on learning that really fulfils you, not give you an instant certificate.
Summary
Overall, these tips will help you survive, but I will go back to my first tip, move out of the company as quickly as you can otherwise your health will deteriorate as a consequence to the stress build up over time, lowering your immune system and allowing all sorts of viruses and bacteria to take over. Heart attacks and strokes are linked with overwork, as well as depression and other mental illnesses, so that is why I do not want you to stay with this malevolent executive. But if you are forced to, then these tips will help you survive until you can get to the point of taking another job.
Job Vacancy , Indonesia Job , Job Indonesia
Difficult bosses, senior managers or executives in an organisation can make life very hard. The results of this is that you will end up highly stressed and in the long term this will affect your health and is one of the major causes of depression. Here are proven ways of keeping your malevolent boss or executive at bay. This is not one of those quick marketing articles that profess to give you best advice, my tips are from academic research and counselling hundreds of people who have had to stay in their jobs regardless of the stress for countless reasons. My motivation is to get this information out to the greatest number of people, to ease the pain that these negative people cause.
Tip 1. Leave the company
This is not the advice that you are wanting to hear, but believe me, after working with a highly malevolent manipulative boss I ended up with an acute respiratory crisis which almost cost me my life, so you should know what dangerous risks you are taking here. Please consider a lateral move within your company, or start a serious job hunt (outside of work hours). However, do NOT take a job less than your level of competence, or less pay, as this action, in my research with unemployed women managers has shown that it leads to serious distress and trauma to your self-esteem.
But hundreds of thousands of people cannot move away from their senior manager who is creating enormous stress for them. The negative activities include: over-loading of work, taking credit for your efforts, having favourites that he or she delights in showing you, trying to include you in nefarious borderline illegal activities and saying to you at the same time, "If you say anything to anyone else I will totally deny it." These are only a few of the activities that they do, and I am sure that you could list your own too.
The reason why this executive can get away with these negative actions and threats is that he or she holds power over you, and that power rests on you being fired. This is the ultimate sanction that can lead you and your family into poverty even with welfare support schemes that exist in different countries. Avoid being unemployed at all costs. The longer you are unemployed the more unemployable you become.
Your only option left to you then is to take the power away from the executive, and here is how to do it.
Tip 2. Build a social network that is more powerful than the executive.
To an introvert hearing this, you will cringe, as going out to meet people is against your personality type. I understand this, but if you have to stay in this situation you must build up a powerful network base. Think about it, as it makes sense. No person is indispensable; this even applies to your boss who is making your life a misery. Consider management buy-outs for instance. Deliberately networking with colleagues may give you an understanding that they too are not happy with the situation either, and inevitably, I can promise you, a malevolent boss is not making the maximum profit of the enterprise. The reason why is that these business owners have built up the organisation to meet their own needs, and therefore do not focus on the strategic possibilities that an enterprise can seize. If you have suppliers or even customers that support you, then a management buy-out is feasible with competent colleagues. You have to assess which of your colleagues are competent though, and not toadies of the boss. Do not organise a revolution with people who you cannot trust, otherwise you will end up fired.
Social networking can get you into trade bodies, or professional organisations who meet regularly and you can make an area of expertise your own. This offsets back-stabbing and the attack on your reputation that your malevolent executive is doing out there (because they want to feel superior to you). Start your own blog about your expertise; get known to the world about what you can do and how you do it. Eventually, this strategy will work as you will likely be head-hunted for another (hopefully better) company. Look at the LinkedIn site for others in your industry and you will witness the turnover and head poaching that goes on. Network your way out of this terrible situation at work.
Tip 3. Manage your stress.
There is an amazing amount of information that is available to you via the media and the internet. I researched medical journals for my best de-stressing techniques and am happy to pass them on to you. The two most efficient, effective ways of getting rid of immediate stress is through physical exercise (try walking in a park at lunchtime) and meditation. The latter means zoning out and can be done anywhere. Sit in your car, or park bench, or in any quiet place, even with 'white noise' or traffic, and just sit and stare and let your mind go blank. You can wear sunglasses if you are in a public place, and shut your eyes and just let any thought that comes into your mind go away until you have finished - as you will remember later what those thoughts are. Do this for 20 minutes then eat your sandwiches. This process is proven to immediately assist in decreasing the stress hormones racing around the human body.
Tip 4. Take charge of your brain.
You have no need to ruminate over the latest injustices. They have been done. They are now in the past. Repeating the episode to others re-enacts the cognitive process in your brain, and you are receiving the same stress signals as if you were in the real life situation. Tell important people in your life that you have suffered yet another form of abuse from your executive or boss, but do not go into the details. It will hurt you. Tell the 'hamster on the treadmill' (as I call it) in your brain, to slow down, there is no need to be on high alert anymore. You are in charge.
Tip 5. Be with positive people.
Another way of taking charge is to hang around positive people and learn from them. This may be over the internet, or just a phone conversation, but fill your life with positive thoughts. Enjoy funny movies, make yourself laugh and enjoy life once again. When your boss has executed his or her nefarious deed on you, think of a funny side to this. Re-invent yourself as a person who likes to share a good time with others.
Tip 6. Remember that you are a worthy person.
This offsets the thrust of most actions that malevolent people take. Most of them want you to feel inferior to them. Let them feel that way. It is never good for either party to end up in power struggles over who is better, more experienced etc. Let him or her think that they are top dog. Ignore their power games. They want to win the war, let them do it. Remember that you are a person of worth, that you have a certain set of skills and abilities and personality characteristics, and no one can take them away from you. You are indeed a person of value. Do not let anyone come into your life and truly devalue you. Some individuals allow others to take away their value. Do not be one of those. If you disbelieve me, I could spend half and hour with you and I know that I can go through your skills and experience and find a person of tremendous worth. You are unique, AND you are never lower than anyone else on this planet, no matter who you are.
Tip 7. This is only temporary.
Your boss, or senior manager will not live forever, and if you humbly do your best, you can stay under the radar for a while. Concentrate on doing a good job, no matter how much they interfere. Be honest with your boss or managers and tell them you can only do so much in so much time. They may sneer at you, but it is ok, you are actually establishing a boundary on your workload and that is what they are angry about. Reviling you is the only way that they know to get you to do more work. Set the boundaries. If you are working more than 60 hours a week you are well on the way to a heart attack. Do not let your executive kill you.
Tip 8. Start a hobby.
Do not use your workplace to do your hobby - as you are a very conscientious person remember? But this is the time to develop an outside interest. I see many individuals who have been burnt out and have nothing left in their lives. No work, no family and friends. So Tip number 7 makes sense. Start going with your children to their outside activities, sports, arts etc.. Take an interest in what they do, join in and develop with them. I remember taking up swing dancing when my daughter was 25, I tagged along and found it great fun, even if I was not that good! If you don't have children, then life is easier to take control of when at home, and you can start your hobby by joining a local association or group of enthusiasts. Don't be deterred, they love to meet beginners. And of course the area that is a really good hobby for people suffering from potential burn out is further education. Your boss is more likely to observe (even respect) the fact that you are doing a certificate, diploma or degree part-time. Choose a subject that you really like to find out more about rather than do the required MBA, and get stuck in. Anthropology is far less threatening to a malevolent executive than a management course. Don't fall into the hands of the 'diploma mill' institutions, concentrate on learning that really fulfils you, not give you an instant certificate.
Summary
Overall, these tips will help you survive, but I will go back to my first tip, move out of the company as quickly as you can otherwise your health will deteriorate as a consequence to the stress build up over time, lowering your immune system and allowing all sorts of viruses and bacteria to take over. Heart attacks and strokes are linked with overwork, as well as depression and other mental illnesses, so that is why I do not want you to stay with this malevolent executive. But if you are forced to, then these tips will help you survive until you can get to the point of taking another job.
Job Vacancy , Indonesia Job , Job Indonesia
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